In the silence of your Soul all will be answered
My dad was a very profound man, a teacher of what was most important. He taught me that no man need prepare to meet his maker; he meets Him every day and each hour in the day. He meets Him in the rising sun, a flowing stream, in the joy of friendship and love, and most importantly, in the Silence of his own Soul!!! Dad taught me to be silent (which was no easy task) and he taught me to listen to what I was feeling, knowing, and needing. “Remember, you are never alone, ‘The Father’ is always with you.” Dad taught me in the way he knew best; simple, direct, and in a manner that always made me think… And he opened my eyes to a world that so many turn away from, intentionally ignore, or are blissfully oblivious to. I learned that in our own souls, in the silent processes of thought and understanding, do we not sense another Presence? There is something Divine about each of us, which we have overlooked. There is more to us than we realize, and Dad was still in touch with his inner child, still on his journey, his eternal destiny, a forever- expanding principle of conscious intelligence… the ocean in a drop of water, the sun in its rays. Man, the real man, is birth-less, deathless, changeless~
I know that there are millions of people, and probably on this very day, expressing the same love and admiration for their loved ones that they hold to be immeasurable, immortal, and even more profound than mine… That just shows how each one of us is so very important in this tapestry of life that we all weave. Each of us, a colorful thread that keeps this world together, next to a stranger that really is not so estranged, just forgotten.
Dad gave each person in his life a little piece of himself that he did not fully share with anyone else, or maybe it just appears that way. Dad had been my spiritual guide, always sharing his amazing thoughts, life’s importance’s, tough love, respect, humility, imperfection is beautiful, and always respect the one that created me…. Yes, that meant mom, dad, and the Almighty! I was reminded on more than one occasion that Dad brought me into this world and if I did not “straighten out and fly right,” he could take me out!!! Or, his all-time favorite, “Pick a wall, any wall, because you’re going through it.” Dad taught me the irony of life, the importance of love, humor is a necessity, and that he could do anything, he put his mind too.
I knew I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. I did not look at him as a man or a boy; but I saw him as this amazing force, this spirit, this magnetic personality that could walk into a room, know no one, and leave with new friends and acquaintances that wanted to help him in every way that they could. “People love me,” he would say, and dad always returned the favor.
Dad started from humble beginnings in Cotulla, Texas, and by the age of 3 or 4 I believe my father was who he was and already embodied the knowledge he shared with each one of us through his spectacular life.
Dad was not only profound, but a visionary, a thinker, a promoter of the everyday person. My dad loved everyone’s personal story and what made him or her tick. He saw the glorious, the sublime, and the raw beauty in the most simple of persons, and that made them either embrace him, or for the few that were flawed beyond reprieve, turn away out of freight from him truly knowing them.
Dad was jovial, grouchy, loving, compassionate, endearing, genius, a Marine, a best friend, a great brother, a lover of life, a loving and supportive husband, a powerful father, and a much enriched soul. Dad could be fierce when he was teaching you a lesson, grueling in his expectations, loving when you fell flat on your face and understanding when you screwed up immeasurably…, and he would always ask…. “What did you learn and what can you take away from this?” And if you could answer him, and not just express self-pity, remorse or anger…. He would tell you, “Then you did not fail, you just learned the hard way.”
When dad was not inventing something, dismantling one of my toys or my magnetic numbers and letters for one of his motors, showing me how to repair cars, fixing things around the house, playing with me and enduring the sheer embarrassment of dress up, Barbie’s and ballet class, he was taking me on adventures to the fabled garage, the Spartan Bar… a little dive joint in Dover, teaching me drinking songs that I unfortunately shared with my kindergarten class, To NEVER sit on a public toilet seat, colorful profane language, the fine art of “don’t tell your mother,” and that if you have Slim Jim’s, beer, and a pack of cigarettes, you can solve most of life’s problems, and if not, you enjoyed pondering the solutions.
Dad was simplistic in what was most important to him, but he was not a simpleton. He was complex, genius and full of surprises. He truly could have been anything he wanted had he taken the time for himself. Dad would tout his lack of education, and then discuss “red line theory”, quantum physics, magnetic anything, and to always think and try to figure it out. Dad told me, “If you are well read and do your research, then you could find the answers to anything….” Dad always saw the capability in everyone around him, but I think he saw a lack within himself and because of this; he pushed you forward, and many times with a firm shove. There was nothing worse to him than not thinking, not trying, or not trying because you were afraid to fail. He’d asked… “What is worse, not trying and always regretting the “what if,” “or trying and falling on your face?” “Who cares what others say, they are just people, also afraid of the ridicule.”
How he spoke the truth. I have had people sitting on the sidelines waiting for the smoldering wreckage that was once me. I have wrecked, and they were there to witness the folly, but so was he… Dad was there to brush me off, make me focus and push me forward… And when I succeeded, those same people ignored my triumph and moved on to another poor soul. Dad showed me that either way I had won!! I learned something very valuable, I learned something new about the world, the people in it, myself and what I could endure and that no one, no matter what; could take away from me what I had learned and gained. Dad made me a better person, humble, ever searching for the next challenge, aware that life was not neatly packaged, not perfect and tucked in a box. Dad taught me that life is messy, scary, ever changing, ever moving, and always an adventure.
Dad was perfectly imperfect, tough and austere, a Marine, a prognosticator, loving, a thinker and a humorist…. And the little boy from Cotulla, Texas, set out on his journey of life, and luckily took us all on his adventure. Dad came a long way, saw a lot in his lifetime, impacted countless souls and made and everlasting impression on so many hearts. Dad will be missed, never forgotten, and truly cherished.
In the silence of his own Soul, there is always refuge, Peace, Love, and the Divine.
Happy Father’s Day!